AHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY AT EXACTLY 3:00:12 ON SATURDAY AFTERNOON!!!!!!!!!!!
啊啊啊啊啊我是阿图尔博鲁茨，这是在周六下午3点12秒时一些让我很愤怒的东西！！！！！！
1. ASMIR BEGOVIC'S GOAL — HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME?!?!?!?!?!?!??!! THE MATCH HAD BARELY EVEN STARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS STILL GOING THROUGH MY OPENING KICKOFF ROUTINE OF ATTEMPTING TO MELT THE OPPOSING STRIKERS' EYEBROWS WITH MY MIND SO THEY WOULD BE SELF CONSCIOUS FOR THE REST OF THE GAME!!!!!!!!!! BUT JUST AS THEY WERE ABOUT TO START LIQUIFYING THE BALL WAS COMING MY WAY AND MY TEAMMATES BACKED OFF IT AND IT BOUNCED OVER MY HEAD AND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TELEKINESIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE EASY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. 贝戈维奇的进球—— 这种事情怎么可以在我身上发生？！比赛才刚刚开始啊！！我当时还在进行我开球后惯例，用意志来融化对方前锋的眉毛然后让他们整场比赛都会觉得不舒服！！！！但正当他们开始被融化的时候这个球就朝着我来啦，而且我队友还后退啦，然后这球弹起越过我的头啦，然后啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊怎么意志控制不管用啦！！！！！！
2. MY TEAMMATES — THANKS GUYS!!!!!!!!!!! JUST STAND THERE AND WATCH WHILE OLD ARTUR GETS OWNED BY A BALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OWNED BY A BALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE LEAST YOU COULD HAVE DONE WAS GIVE ME A BOOST SO I COULD JUMP 80 FEET INTO THE SKY AND FALCON PUNCH THE BALL INTO SPACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ASTRONAUTS WOULD NOT HAVE KNOWN WHAT WAS HAPPENING BUT INSTEAD THEY'RE PROBABLY LAUGHING AT ME ON THE MOON NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH STOP LAUGHING AT ME ASTRONAUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. 我的队友—— 非常感谢大家！！！！！就站在那里观看老阿图尔被一个球羞辱！！！！被一个球羞辱！！！！至少你们过来安慰激励一下我好让我一下子跳80尺高到空中然后一拳把这球打到太空去啊！！！！！！那肯定会很棒的啊！！！！宇航员不会知道发生什么事但现在他们都在月球上嘲笑我！！！！！啊啊啊啊啊你们这些宇航员不要笑啊！！！！！
3. THE WIND — I KNEW YOU WOULD BETRAY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS OF BEING THERE FOR YOU WHEN EVERYONE ELSE HATED YOU FOR BREAKING THEIR UMBRELLAS AND BLOWING LEAVES ALL OVER THEIR YARDS THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I BROKE ALL THE WINDOWS IN MY HOUSE JUST SO YOU COULD COME IN AND HANG OUT WHENEVER YOU WANTED TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I TRUSTED YOU WIND!!!!!!!!!!!! I TRUSTED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. 风—— 我早就知道你会背叛我！！！！！每个人都因为你破坏他们的伞和把树叶吹到他们后院里而讨厌你，但这么多年来我一直在你身边，这就是你的报答？！？！？！我简直不相信我打碎我房子里所有的窗子让你随时进来跟我玩！！！！我曾经信任你的啊，风！！！！！我曾经信任你的啊！！！！！！
4. CORN — WE ALL KNOW THAT THE WIND WASN'T SMART ENOUGH TO COME UP WITH THIS EVIL PLAN ON ITS OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE HAD TO BE KERNELED MASTERMIND BEHIND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CORN KNEW I WAS GETTING CLOSE TO UNRAVELING ITS INTERNATIONAL CONSPIRACY FOR WORLD DOMINATION SO THIS IS HOW IT KEEPS ME AT BAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WELL NICE TRY CORN BUT IT TAKES A LOT MORE THAN ONE DEVASTATING GOAL THAT WILL HAUNT ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE TO STOP ME FROM DESTROYING YOUR VILE SCHEMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. 玉米—— 我们都知道风是没这么聪明来独自想出这个邪恶的计划的！！肯定背后有另外的主谋！！那些玉米知道我将要揭穿它们统治世界的阴谋所以这就是它们给我的警告！！！好吧你们干得好但是一个狼狈的丢球还不足以停止我破坏你们邪恶的阴谋！！！！！
5. MATCHING – AS IF SCORING A GOAL ON ME IN 12 SECONDS WASN'T BAD ENOUGH BEGOVIC ALSO HAD TO WEAR THE EXACT SAME THING AS ME SO WE LOOKED LIKE GOALKEEPER TWINS ALL DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE WHEN PEOPLE WEAR THE SAME CLOTHES AS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN OUR KITS NOW IS THAT MINE IS IN FLAMES IN MY MICROWAVE AND HIS IS PROBABLY JUST ON THE "POPCORN" SETTING IN HIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE THE CORN SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. 撞衫—— 开场12秒就进我一个球还不够，贝戈维奇还要跟我穿一样的门将衣服，整天我们看起来就像门将双胞胎一样！！！！我很讨厌别人跟我穿一样的衣服！！！我很讨厌啊！！！！我们球衣现在唯一的区别就是我的球衣在微波炉里面起火，他的球衣可能在他的爆米花堆里面！！！！啊啊啊啊我好讨厌玉米啊！！！！
6. MY IDIOT NEIGHBOR DAN WYKOWSKI — SO WHEN I GOT BACK FROM THE MATCH I JUST WANTED TO GO INSIDE AND BOARD UP MY WINDOWS TO KEEP THAT TURDFACE THE WIND OUT AND THEN LISTEN TO TAYLOR SWIFT ALL NIGHT AND SCREAM AT A LAMP BUT AS SOON AS I WALKED IN THE DOOR MY IDIOT NEIGHBOR DAN WYKOWSKI WAS RIGHT THERE WITH HIS TWO GOOBER KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY SAID THEY SAW THE MATCH AND WANTED TO KNOW HOW I WAS DOING!!!!!!!!!!!! I TOLD THEM I WAS FINE BUT I SAID IT IN A WAY SO THEY WOULD KNOW THAT THE ASTRONAUTS ARE MOST DEFINITELY STILL LAUGHING AT ME EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN'T HEAR LAUGHTER IN SPACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY SAID THEY WANTED TO CHEER ME UP BY INVITING ME OVER AND COOKING ME DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AGREED TO GO JUST BECAUSE THEIR HOUSE HAS MORE STUFF TO BREAK AND THEN REPLACE WITH BETTER STUFF OF EQUAL OR GREATER VALUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY MADE WAFFLES FOR DINNER AND IT WAS DELICIOUS BUT THEN WE PLAYED MONOPOLY FOR LIKE FOUR HOURS AND IT WAS HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. 我的笨蛋邻居丹.维科夫斯基 —— 当我比赛完回到家的时候我只想进去关上窗子把那该死的风锁在外面然后一边听Taylor Swift的歌一晚上一边对着台灯大叫，但我一走进门我就看见我那笨蛋邻居丹.维科夫斯基和他两个小屁孩！！！！他们说看了比赛，想知道我还好吗！！！！我告诉他们我还好但我说的方式想让他们知道那些宇航员可能还在嘲笑我，哪怕你听不到他们的笑声！！！！他们说想要让我高兴起来，所以邀请我去他们家吃晚饭！！！！！我同意了，仅仅是因为他们房子里有更多的东西可以破坏然后用等价或者更高价的东西来补偿！！！！！他们晚饭做了奶蛋饼，而且很好吃，但之后我们玩大富翁玩了4个小时，这感觉太糟糕了啊！！！！！
I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS HAS BEEN MY RAGE LIST FOR 3:00:12 ON SATURDAY AFTERNOON. GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
我是阿图尔博鲁茨，这是我今天的愤怒列表。上帝保佑！！！！
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