- UID
- 35226
- 性别
- 保密
- 出勤
- 天
- 新闻
- 篇
- 魅力
- 点
- 浮云
- 朵
- 帖子
- 金钱
- 块
- 注册时间
- 2007-3-9
- 贡献
- 点
- 最后登录
- 1970-1-1
- 积分
- 6245
- 在线时间
- 小时
该用户从未签到
|
发表于 2010-10-29 14:06:42
|
显示全部楼层
Dirty Tackle ShareretweetEmailPrintFri Oct 22 11:25am PDT
Artur Boruc's Friday Rage List
By Brooks Peck
AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:
1. FIORENTINA -- AHHHHHHH WE'RE IN LAST PLACE AND I STILL HAVEN'T PLAYED YET!!!!!!! THIS IS MORE AWFUL THAN THE TIME I DRANK TOO MUCH PAINT THINNER AND SLEPT THROUGH HALLOWEEN AND THEN TRIED TO HAVE MY OWN HALLOWEEN A WEEK LATER AND EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY!!!!!!!! I'M NOT CRAZY!!!!! I JUST DRANK TOO MUCH PAINT THINNER!!!!! STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. WAYNE ROONEY -- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!??! YOU MADE ME READ ABOUT HOW YOU'RE GOING TO A DIFFERENT TEAM ALL WEEK AND THEN YOU DIDN'T GO TO A DIFFERENT TEAM!!!!!!!!! THAT'S EVIL!!!!!!! WHAT IF I TOLD YOU ALL WEEK THAT I AM GOING TO SEND YOU A BOX OF SOAP THAT SMELLS LIKE FEET AND CHESS PIECES SHAPED LIKE HOUSE PETS WITH DEPRESSING DEFORMITIES AND THEN DIDN'T DO IT!??!?!?!? WELL DON'T WORRY BECAUSE I DID!!!!!! AHHHHHH THE CHESS PIECES ARE REALLY DEPRESSING!!!!!!!!
3. COLUMBUS GOALKEEPER SCORING EQUALIZER -- I DON'T USUALLY FEEL JEALOUS OF OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE MY LIFE IS AWESOME AND FILLED WITH DEAD SQUIRRELS BUT THIS MAKES ME JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!! WHY COULDN'T I DO THAT!?!?!?!? OH RIGHT BECAUSE I NEVER PLAY AND SEBASTIEN FREY IS TURD!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH I WOULD THROW A DEAD SQUIRREL AT HIM BUT I DON'T WANT TO WASTE ANY OF THEM!!!!!!
4. CORN -- WAYNE ROONEY'S AGENT IS APPARENTLY THE PERSON BEHIND ALL THE JUNK THAT HAPPENED WITH MAN UNITED THIS WEEK!!!!!! HIS NAME IS PAUL STRETFORD!!!!!!! I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY THAT HE IS A COG IN THE MASTER CONSPIRACY BEING CONDUCTED BY CORN AND ITS DEMONIC KERNELS!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THAT YET BUT I WENT TO THE MARKET AND DROPKICKED ALL THE CORN THAT THEY HAD!!!!!! I'M NOT ALLOWED BACK AT THE MARKET NOW!!!!!!
5. ANDREI ARSHAVIN'S INTERVIEW -- THIS INTERVIEW ACTUALLY GAVE ME NIGHTMARES EVEN THOUGH I DON'T SLEEP AND I USUALLY SPEND MY NIGHTS WATCHING THE LITTLE MERMAID TO SEE IF FLOUNDER BECOMES A POLICE OFFICER WITH A SERIOUS DRUG PROBLEM IF YOU WATCH THE MOVIE ENOUGH!!!!! SO FAR IT HASN'T HAPPENED!!!!!!! ANYWAY YOU ARE STILL A FREAKY LITTLE MUNCHKIN ARSHAVIN AND THE FACT THAT YOU WANT TO BE YOUR OWN WIFE IS HORRIFYING TO ME!!!!!!!! HORRIFYING!!!!!!!!!
6. CHILAVERT ATTACKS AGENT IN THE AIRPORT -- THIS IS WRONG!!!!!!!! ATTACKING AGENTS IN AN AIRPORT GIVES ALL OF US GOALKEEPERS A BAD NAME!!!!!! IF YOU'RE GOING TO ATTACK AN AGENT YOU DO IT AT A PIZZA HUT LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING!!!!!!!
7. LIVERPOOL'S PILOT IS THE LEAD SINGER OF IRON MAIDEN -- AHHHHHHHHHHH FIORENTINA'S PILOT IS JUST A GUY NAMED STUART WHO FREAKS OUT WHENEVER I BUST INTO THE COCKPIT AND TRY TO FLY THE PLANE!!!!!!!!! JUST BECAUSE I ONCE CRASHED A CAR INTO A MANATEE DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T FLY A PLANE!!!!!!!!
8. OZIL PUSHES REFEREE -- SURE!!!!! WHEN HE DOES IT IT'S OK BUT WHEN I DO IT THE REFEREE WANTS TO PRESS CHARGES AND NEEDS A DOCTOR TO GET THE SWORD OUT OF HIS CHEST!!!!!!! A LOT OF PEOPLE CARRY SWORDS!!!!!!! IF I'M GOING TO PROTECT YOU FROM THE CORN I NEED TO CARRY A SWORD!!!!!!!!
9. MY IDIOT NEIGHBOR DAN WYKOWSKI -- SO I WAS THROWING WATER BOTTLES AT THE SUN TO SEE IF I COULD MAKE IT STOP SHINING SO BRIGHT WHEN MY IDIOT NEIGHBOR DAN WYKOWSKI CAME INTO MY YARD!!!!!! HE THANKED ME AGAIN FOR FLYING HIM AND HIS GOOBER KIDS FROM GLASGOW TO STAY AT THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR TO MINE!!!!!! I SAID "YOU'RE WELCOME" BUT I SAID IT IN A WAY SO THAT HE WOULD KNOW THAT HE IS NOT WELCOME AT ALL!!!!!!! THEN HE SAID THAT I'VE SEEMED STRESSED OUT LATELY AND THAT IF I NEEDED TO TALK ABOUT MY PROBLEMS AT WORK HIS DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN!!!!!! AND I SAID "I KNOW YOUR DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN BECAUSE I HEADBUTTED IT OFF ITS HINGES LAST NIGHT WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING!!!!!!!" AND THEN HE LAUGHED AND ASKED IF I WOULD HELP HIM FIX IT AND I SAID "SURE!!!!!!!!" BUT I WILL PROBABLY JUST HIRE SOMEONE TO FIX IT INSTEAD!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH I HOPE THE GUY I HIRE DOESN'T DO A VERY GOOD JOB SO THE NEXT TIME I HEADBUTT IT I DON'T FORGET HOW TO COUNT TO EIGHT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!
I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS HAS BEEN MY RAGE LIST. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK! GOD BLESS!!!!!!
这是上周的,本周的估计要周六看得到 |
|