博鲁什的本周愤怒列表 （Sep 19）

bruceho

AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:  

啊啊啊啊我是阿图尔博鲁什，这是这周让我生气的一些东西的列表：

1. THIS CAGE -- AHHHHHHHH HOW DID I GET HERE?!?!?!?!?! WHERE IS MY ALLIGATOR GUN?!?!?!?!! WHAT TIME IS "FRIENDS" ON!?!?!?!?!?! WHY DOESN'T MCDONALD'S SELL SQURREL NUGGETS?!?!?!?! AHHHHHHHHH I REALLY WISH THESE BARS WERE ELECTRIFIED!!!!!!!!!
1. 这个大笼子 —— 啊啊啊啊我怎么进来的？我的鳄鱼枪在哪里？《Friends》几点钟开始？为什么麦当劳不卖松鼠食品？啊啊啊啊我真的希望这些铁栏是充电的！


2. TURKISH COACH GETTING STABBED BY BROTHER DURING MATCH -- THIS IS INSANE!!!!!!!! IF ANYONE EVER TRIES TO STAB ME DURING A MATCH I WILL CONVINCE THEM NOT TO BY USING MY SUPERIOR LOGIC AND REASONING!!!!!!!! AND BY "SUPERIOR LOGIC AND REASONING" I MEAN I WILL DROPKICK THEM IN THE HEAD SO HARD THAT THEY WILL FORGET HOW TO DO GEOMETRY!!!!!!!
2. 土耳其教练在比赛中被自己兄弟捅刀 —— 这太疯狂了！如果有人在比赛的时候要对我捅刀的话我会用我高超的逻辑和理智来说服他们。我指的“高超的逻辑和理智”是拿他们的头来开大脚然后他们会忘记怎么做几何题！


3.  PIQUE BLEEDING AGAIN -- THIS GUY BLEEDS MORE THAN A DUCK THAT'S BEEN ATTACKED BY THE PREDATOR!!!! IF HE NEEDS TO REPLACE ALL THAT BLOOD HE LOST HE CAN COME TO MY HOUSE AND I CAN SELL HIM SOME MORE!!!!!! I KEEP TONS OF IT IN A FRIDGE IN MY ATTIC!!!!!! DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!!!
3. 皮克又流血了 —— 这家伙比一支被肉食动物攻击的鸭子流的血还多！如果他需要更多的血他可以来我家，我可以卖他更多的。我家顶楼的冰箱里放了很多！别说我！



4. CORN -- SEE!!!!!!! THE CORN IS TRYING TO DECEIVE US AGAIN!!!! IT'S CHANGING THE NAME OF HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP TO "CORN SUGAR"!!!!!!! CORN DOES NOT MAKE SUGAR!!!! SUGAR IS SWEET AND DELICIOUS AND CORN IS EVIL AND TRYING TO CRUSH YOUR BABIES!!!!!!! DON'T FALL FOR THIS DECEPTION!!!!!! DON'T SURRENDER TO THE CORN SUGAR MENACE!!!!!!

4. 玉米 —— 看见了没！玉米又要欺骗我们了！高果糖玉米浆的名字变成了“玉米糖”。玉米是不产生糖的！糖又甜又美味而玉米是邪恶的！不要相信这个诡计！不要向玉米糖威胁投降！


5. GIULY'S DRUNK STRIPTEASE -- IF HE SANG A TAYLOR SWIFT SONG WHILE HE DID IT I BET MORE PEOPLE WOULD HAVE STAYED!!!!!!

5. 久利的醉酒脱~衣舞 —— 如果他一边跳一边唱一首Taylor Swift的歌的话我肯定更多人会留下来的！
（译者注：在PSG效力的久利在巴黎的一酒吧里喝醉酒跳了脱~衣舞）


6. UEFA BANNING BAYERN FANS' MONTY PYTHON BANNER -- I CAN RELATE TO THEIR DISAPPOINTMENT!!!!!! I MADE A BANNER THAT SAID "YOU PROBABLY CAN'T HEAR ME BUT I AM SCREAMING AT ALL OF YOU UNTIL MY HAIR GOES DEAF!!!!!!!" AND UEFA BANNED THAT TOO!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
6. 欧足联禁止拜仁球迷的巨蟒横幅 —— 我能感受到他们的失望。我做过一条横幅上面说“你可能听不到我但我在向你们所有人大叫！”然后欧足联也禁了这个。我靠！


7. IBRAHIMOVIC KICKING HIS NEW TEAMMMATE -- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!?!! YOU DON'T KICK PEOPLE IN THE BACK AND TELL OTHERS TO SHUT UP ON TELEVISION!!!!!! THAT'S AWFUL!!!!!! PLUS YOU DIDN'T EVEN DO A ROUNDHOUSE KICK OR ANYTHING COOL LIKE THAT!!!!!!!! IF YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT DO IT RIGHT!!!!!!!!
7. 伊布拉希莫维奇踢他的新队友 —— 你他妈的有毛病啊？你从后面踢了人又在电视上叫别人闭嘴，这太可怕了！你又没有做一个旋风踢或者其他酷的东西！如果你真要做的话至少做好来！


8. STEPHEN IRELAND'S HOUSE -- EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T LIVED IN MY NEW HOUSE VERY LONG MINE IS STILL EIGHT TIMES BETTER!!!!!!! FOR EXAMPLE MY HOUSE HAS A LITTLE MERMAID ROOM WITH ACTUAL FISH STAPLED TO THE WALL!!!!! I COULDN'T FIND ANY ACTUAL MERMAIDS AT THE FISH MARKET THOUGH!!!!!!! THAT WAS DISAPPOINTING!!!!!!!
9. 斯蒂芬爱尔兰的房子 —— 尽管我还没有在我的新房子住很久但我的还是好了8倍！比如说我的房子有一个小小的美人鱼房，里面的墙上钉着真实的鱼。我在市场上找不到真实的美人鱼！太让人失望啦！
（译者注：爱尔兰的新房子超级豪华）









9. MY ANNOYING NEW NEIGHBOR ENZO -- SO ON MONDAY I WAS BOILING EGGS TO THROW AT LITTLE KIDS WHO LOOK AT ME FUNNY WHEN MY ANNOYING NEW NEIGHBOR ENZO CAME OVER WITH WHAT HE CALLED A "WELCOME DISH"!!!!! I ASKED HIM WHAT IT WAS!!!!!!! THAT'S WHEN HE TOOK THE TOP OFF THE DISH AND WHAT I SAW WAS BOTH HORRIFYING AND REPULSIVE!!!!!!!!! IT WAS POLENTA!!!!!!! POLENTA IS CORN!!!!!!!!! POLENTA IS CORN!!!!!!!!! I IMMEDIATELY SLAPPED IT OUT OF HIS HAND AND SET THE FLOOR ON FIRE!!!!!! ENZO GOT FREAKED OUT AND ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG!!!!! I TOLD HIM THAT I APPRECIATED THE KIND GESTURE BUT HE BROUGHT PURE EVIL INTO MY HOME AND POLITELY ASKED HIM TO LEAVE BEFORE I FIND MY ALLIGATOR GUN!!!!!!! HE APOLOGIZED AND QUICKLY LEFT!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH I HOPE HIS CORN OVERLORDS BETRAY HIM AND USE HIS TELEVISION WHEN HE'S NOT HOME!!!!!!!!!

9. 我的烦人的新邻居恩佐 —— 周一的时候我本来在煮鸡蛋的，用来扔那些看着我嘲笑的小屁孩的，然后恩佐来了，还拿着他说的“欢迎菜”。我问他里面是什么。然后他把盖子拿开我看到了可怕令人厌恶的东西。竟然是玉米粥！玉米粥是玉米做的！玉米粥就是玉米！我赶紧把锅子从他手上打掉然后地板着火了。恩佐觉得很奇怪问我怎么了。我告诉他我感谢他的好意但是他带了很邪恶的东西进我的房子里，然后我很礼貌的请他离开不然我要找我的鳄鱼枪！他道歉了之后很快就走了。啊啊啊啊我希望他家里的玉米背叛他在他不在家的时候用他的电视！


I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS HAS BEEN MY RAGE LIST. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK! GOD BLESS!!!!!!
我是阿图尔博鲁什。下周再见！上帝保佑！

附：博鲁什刚来佛罗伦萨时的一些精华
7月23日

STRANGLING THE REF — YOU SHOULD NEVER STRANGLE A REFEREE!!!!!! UNLESS YOU IMAGINE HIM TO BE INSULTING YOUR FAMILY IN HIS MIND!!!!!! I DO THAT A LOT!!!!!! YESTERDAY I IMAGINED THAT A SMALL CHILD WAS INSULTING MY FAMILY SO I MENTALLY INSULTED HIS FAMILY!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH IT WAS VERY INTENSE!!!!!!
掐裁判的脖子 —— 你永远不应该掐裁判的脖子！除非你想像他在骂你的家人！我就是经常这样的！昨天我想像一个小屁孩在骂我的家人然后我也在脑子里骂他的家人！啊啊啊这非常激烈啊！

MY TRANSLATOR — SINCE I DON'T KNOW ITALIAN THEY GAVE ME A TRANSLATOR TO HELP ME OUT!!!! THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT SHE'S AWFUL AND I HATE HER!!!!!! I DON'T LIKE HAVING TO PRETEND TO LISTEN TO THE REPORTERS' QUESTIONS THEN LISTEN TO HER TRANSLATE IT THEN ANSWER THEN HAVE HER TRANSLATE MY ANSWER!!!!!!! SHE COULD BE SAYING ANYTHING AND I WOULDN'T KNOW!!!!!!!! I'M GOING TO LEARN ITALIAN JUST TO CATCH HER AT HER GAME AND THEN SCREAM ITALIAN CURSE WORDS AT HER UNTIL MY NECK VEINS POP!!!!!! WHICH ACTUALLY HAPPENS QUITE OFTEN!!!!!!
我的翻译 —— 因为我不懂意大利语所以他们给我安排了一个翻译来帮我。唯一的问题就是她很坏我很讨厌她！我不喜欢要假装听记者问问题然后听她翻译给我然后在回答她再翻译我的回答。她有可能在说我不知道的东西！我要去学意大利语来对她用意大利语咒骂直到我脖子的血管破裂！这经常发生的！

SEBASTIEN FREY — HE SEEMS LIKE A NICE ENOUGH PERSON BUT WE ARE NOW IN DIRECT COMPETITION FOR STARTS!!!!!!! AND WHEN I AM IN DIRECT COMPETITION WITH SOMEONE I DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO MAKE THEIR LIFE AS TERRIBLE AS POSSIBLE!!!!!!! FOR EXAMPLE ON MONDAY I MADE HIM HARD BOILED EGGS AND THEN I THREW THEM IN A RIVER!!!!!!!!!! HE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TASTE HOW DELICIOUS THOSE EGGS WERE!!!!!!!
塞巴弗雷 —— 他人很不错但现在我们是直接的竞争对手啊！当我跟别人当直接竞争对手时我会做任何事情来让他们的生活尽可能悲惨！比如说周一我让他去煮鸡蛋，然后我将它们扔到河里去了！他永远都不会尝到那些鸡蛋有多么美味啦哈哈！

[ 本帖最后由 bruceho 于 2010-9-21 09:48 编辑 ]

秦汉唐

玉米。。。

FaLcoN

额………

xiaobo1000

icebomb

阿图尔博鲁什,没有弗雷,你一定很受欢迎

charlie_727

头晕。。。。。。

异世界

hehe，笼子是指什么

东东

这家伙也有点意思啊，呵呵

yurf

这家伙，给他杯赛踢踢，不然他会疯

曾经的9号

这哥们玩脱口秀的 呵呵

妈叫你

这哥们有点神经兮兮的……

donnell

弗雷还会煮蛋？呵呵，全才啊